Families are deeply affected by a member's diagnosis of cancer. Feelings can
range from anger to despair to fear. Spouses fear losing their partners, parents
fear losing their children, and children fear losing their parents.
Children can have an especially hard time when a parent or sibling is ill.
Frequently, they aren't included in discussions, hearing only bits and pieces
of conversations. They might be too young to understand what's going on. Kids
might also jump to conclusions, assuming the worst. Sometimes, they even blame
themselves. Some excellent books are written specifically for children on how
to cope with a parent's cancer. These advise, for instance, that it's often
simply a matter of sitting down and talking to children openly, so that they'll
have a realistic picture of what's going on.
To help families cope, many hospitals and cancer clinics hold special meetings
with family groups, led by counselors or social workers. Spouses benefit from
this kind of support by learning more about what their partners are experiencing
and ways that they might be able to help. This type of group also offers spouses
of people with cancer a chance to talk about their own feelings and fears.
If you're concerned about how to talk with family members or children about
cancer, it's important to speak up and ask about what resources are available.
Meeting other families who understand your illness, the effects of treatment,
and the emotional ups and downs can go a very long way in helping you cope.